An Excerpt from The Power of Surrender
My Initiation Into Surrender
I’ve gotten used to not reacting “like I’m supposed to.” As a physician and woman, I get tired of people trying to fit me into some box that has nothing to do with who I am. I’ve gotten over trying to pass as “normal.” I’d rather just be my creative quirky self. Perhaps you can relate to my feelings because each of us is unique, beautiful, loveable, and surprising, spontaneously unfolding moment to moment.
That’s why I was excited about writing a book on surrender. Since writing is my passion, an alive, ever-changing meditation, a book can happily take me years to complete--I asked myself, “What do I most want to write about? What do I most want to learn?” It has never interested me to just recount what I know. Instead, I write about what I yearn to discover. And, my attraction was to the concept of surrender: the ability to be fluid, to bend like a willow in the wind during life’s climaxes and lows. I want to be increasingly able to not clench, grasp, obsess, overthink, over control, fight with my life, or let my stubborn streak obstruct my spiritual expansion.
I long to uncover the secrets of universe--not just with my mind, but with my heart, soul, and intuition. I want to fly. I want to soar. Who says we don’t have wings? I don’t care what anyone claims is possible.
So, with these priorities, I began writing this book. Surrender: It sounded good. It felt really right. I was ready to more deeply practice letting go. However, I didn’t fully understand what I was signing up for, both losses and gains. In the process, life has asked me to jump off of a lot of ledges and have faith that all would be well. Why did this happen? Stable parts of my world started shifting in unexpected ways that required me to change. I’ve had to let go of a lot. For instance, I sold my condo, where I’ve written all my books, because of unrelenting noise and lengthy construction. I’ve exchanged a permanent address for a nomadic lifestyle and a PO Box for now. During the move, I chose to give away most of my possessions to make a fresh start. That was just for openers. Then I had to let go of a love who left me. A therapist. Many outmoded views about intimacy including my erotic inhibitions, my obsessive attachment to certain men, and the desire for others to approve of my boyfriends, my intuitive explorations, or anything else. Throughout all this, I surrendered my ego, again and again, trusting that a higher compassionate force was guiding me.
Why surrender? What’s the advantage of going beyond your comfort zone? Whether you surrender a little or a lot, you’ll experience more passion and power. As I did, you can also undergo a rebirth in areas where you may feel bored or stuck. This flux of letting go, not knowing but moving forward anyway, is a vibrant process of refining your body and soul. I experienced this, not without fear but not without hope, either. I’ve surrendered as the opposites of fear and joy often pulled at me simultaneously. But I was also melting into the dazzling beauty that was impelling my life. My intuition brought me here. I trust it more than anything. So I allowed myself to be led by my inner voice and by the Mystery.
On this journey, I’ve discovered there’s a strange and wonderful ecstasy that comes from surrendering. It creeps up on you. Then one day you look at yourself and you are shining. You may not know exactly how you arrived here, but you’re different, and it is a blessing. As a result, I’ve become healthier, braver, more intuitive, more flowing and fun, younger, more untamed, and more spiritually pliant. I’ve shed layers of fear and limitations that kept me locked in a life that was no longer large enough for me.
I tell you all this, the revelatory and the challenging parts, to prepare you for the greatest adventure you may ever go on. If you’re like me--someone who wants to become everything you were meant to be and more--surrender is a doorway in. I offer myself as your guide. In this book, I want to share with you what I’ve learned about surrender. I want to trust you with my secrets. I can’t predict what will happen to you or what you will have to let go of, but I do know the result will be pure and good and right and exceed your highest expectations.
If you’re game, I’ll stay there beside you with love.
Hang on and ride the wild dragon of surrender to freedom.